For many, Valentines day is just a commercial hype when we are coerced into parting with our hard earned cash for overpriced cards, flowers and expensive gifts, however it is a reminder to all of us not to take our loved ones, friends, families and colleagues for granted and to let them know, on a regular basis, how much they mean to us.
We are often chasing deadlines, juggling multiple ‘to do’ lists, racing from one meeting to the next. Taking time to fully appreciate the key people in our life can seem like an unnecessary indulgence. They know how we feel about them, don’t they? – or do they?
A word of gratitude, praise or love, can go such a long way to making someone’s day and it may mean that they in turn, not only reciprocate but also go on to appreciate someone in their life.
So how can we be more giving to the people around us, how can we spread more love and genuine appreciation for the people we connect with every day, ‘paying it forward’ like the baton in a relay race so our warmth and gratitude go viral in the wider communities of everyone we interact with
According to Cellular Biologist, Dr Bruce Lipton, the trillions of cells in our bodies are always in one of 2 operating modes –either ‘survival or growth’. There is a small ‘gateway’ in each cell through which all the nutrients in our blood stream pass to enable us to continue the thrive.
When we are stretched, focused on hitting vital deadlines, working all the hours God sends and verging on overwhelm, we are in ‘survival’ mode.
We release the stress hormones, cortisol, adrenalin and norepinephrine and our cells recognise toxins in our blood stream and shut the ‘gateway’ to protect us from the damaging effect of those toxins.
This also prevents essential nutrients from passing through into our cells and explains why we become ‘sick and tired’ when under long term stress.
When we feel like this we have nothing to give to others so we become ‘selfish’ where even a small request, especially for our precious time, becomes a big issue.
We become short tempered, irritable, critical of self and others and people start to give us a wide berth.
Think of the safety instructions every time we fly – ‘In case of emergency, always apply your own oxygen mask before you help others with theirs’ – no point in trying to save someone whilst you are turning blue.
Another analogy is it’s like trying to run a car on an empty tank – you can keep your foot on the throttle but you will just end up burning out the engine!
“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.”
– Maxwell Maltz
The best way we can serve others and make them feel valued, is to nurture ourselves.
When we take time to rest, exercise, eat well, meditate, get out in nature, spend quality time with the people we love, we feel re-energised.
We can appreciate all that is rich and fulfilling in our lives, we feel re-charged, re-focused and ‘raring to go’.
We then work far more effectively and productively.
We become ‘selfless’ – we have time to listen to others, to give our valuable support and advice and in turn to make them feel valued.
Investing in your greatest asset – ‘YOU’, is the best investment you will ever make for both your business and your life.
Learning to love yourself first enables you to love others more and to make your own unique contribution to your community and to the world at large.
My top tips for ‘Loving’ YOU
1. Recognise and celebrate who you are at your core – the biggest shift I had in this was doing my Talent Dynamics profile in 2012 – it had a major impact on my self belief, my vision and my actions that have led me to the life and business I absolutely love today.
2. Become an ‘expert’ in your field. When you know your true value, and your unique offerings, focus on constantly learning and growing in your specialist area so you always have something fresh to offer your clients and prospects.
You will be excited to share your knowledge and your clients will feel enriched by your offerings.
3. Be the best version of you. Regularly invest in your own spiritual and mental growth. Stretch yourself out of your comfort zone -keep pushing the boundaries.
Surprise yourself everyday by stepping up in both your business and personal life and enjoy the feeling of achievement at the end of each day.
4. Nurture yourself; knowing that the more you do this on a regular basis, the more you can nurture others. Eat healthy nutritious meals, get to bed early and enjoy the rejuvenating impact of those sleep hours before midnight. Take regular breaks throughout the day, exercise, meditate, get out in nature, – do whatever makes you feel refreshed and re-charged.
You are subliminally saying ‘I matter’
5. Spend time with inspirational people who will support and encourage you to keep evolving and stretching out of your comfort zone. Their energy will fire you up and your energy will in turn inspire others. Regularly tune into Ted talks, webinars and videos to boost your understanding and motivation.
6. Invest in your appearance. The better you feel you look, the more confident you will feel and the more ready you will be to interact with and give value to others.
Invest in a colour and image consultation and find the shades and styles that are right for you and your unique skin tone. This is an investment for life and means you will have a wardrobe full of clothes that you actually wear and feel fabulous in – (most of us wear 20% of our wardrobe 80% of the time). It will also save you a huge amount of shopping time and a small fortune, as you will only buy clothes that suit you and that you will then wear.
7. Regularly spend time with the key people in your life – your family and good friends. Arrange fun days out or simple gatherings at home where you can just relax and share good food, great company, love and laughter.
They are the people who just want your company more than anything. They remind you why you do what you do and the more love and attention you give them, the more you will receive in return – ‘what goes around comes around,’
A favourite quote of mine –
‘People who recognise and celebrate their uniqueness exude a magnetic energy that is totally irresistible.’
As I learn to love myself more each day and to share my unique value with the world, I am finding people are drawn to work with me even though they may not know why.
I am launching a series of webinars with the wonderful Vanessa Hall, Global Trust Guru, who I met once when I was speaking at the London Professional Speaking Association in November 2017.
Our stories and values are so similar that we really connected and are now running these webinars together to enable people all over the world to recognise their true value and to step up and let it shine,
Vanessa lives in Montreal and I am in Bucks, near London UK – so we are 2 women from opposite sides of the world reaching out to people globally to empower them to unlock more of their true potential and to build trust and flow in their business and life.
Dates will be confirmed shortly – watch this space.
So in this month of Love – start learning to love yourself unconditionally and invest in your greatest asset – it is not selfish, it is the opposite, it makes you selfless and instantly expands your capacity to love and support those around you.
“Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.”
– Parker Palmer